


I'm A Pain In Women's Clothes (On Hold)

by AdrianMatthew (orphan_account)



Category: The 1975 (Band)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Drinking, Dysphoria, F/M, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gender Dysphoria, George - Freeform, M/M, Matty - Freeform, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad, Smoking, Strangers to Lovers, Suicidal Mentions, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide mention, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Transgender, Underage Drinking, drunk, im an awful writer, trans matty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 13:51:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19152349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/AdrianMatthew
Summary: A book about how George met a girl, who was sweet, soft, and sad as fuck, and how Matty woke up in Georges guest bedroom.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the first fanfic im writing on here thats not a one shot so i really hope you enjoy and remember to leave a comment or kudos if you liked it :D

Matty made bad ideas sometimes, and deciding to walk a mile home from the bar, drunk and crying, was definitely one of those bad ideas, but maybe some of those bad ideas had happy endings. George wasn’t walking about with any particular destination in mind, just a walk to clear his head. The sun was just beginning to set and George was walking to an old abandoned park to sit for a while when he heard footsteps behind him. Uneven, light footsteps, accompanied with a bit of muttering.

 

“Hi.” the stumbling mess of a man spoke. George turned, looking the curly headed drunken mess from head to toe. “Hey..” replied George, wondering why this man was talking to him. The smaller man sighed, sitting down on the sidewalk and then falling back into the grass. Upon closer inspection George wondered if this person was even a man at all, they had makeup smeared across their face and a lavender skirt that fell just at their knees. Little light pink rectangle earrings in each ear.

 

“Just get it over with.” the curly headed.. person said, closing their eyes and turning their head to the side. At this point George noticed a bruise blooming across their cheek, the same soft lavender as their skirt. “Get what over with exactly?” George asked, sitting down on the pavement next to them because, why the hell not. He had nothing better to do. The person sighed loudly, sounding exasperated and fed up. “What everyone else does, hit me, beat me, molest me for all I care,” they deadpanned, pushing their curls back from their face. “People have done it all, I don’t care about being hurt anymore.”

 

This statement took George back a bit, raking his mind as to just _why_ this person had been through this, and why they thought George was the type of person to do that to someone. “I’m not going to hurt you.” he answered, “What’s your name anyways, and why are you out here?” The sun had now set and the warm summer air was tinted chilly with a small breeze. “Matty, and I’m on my way home… or somewhere else.” Matty threw their arm across their face, covering their eyes with their forearm, mumbling something George didn’t quite catch.

 

“What was that?” he asked, taking it upon himself to lay next to Matty on the grass. “I said I’m go-” was all they got out before turning their head away quickly, “No, never mind, I may be drunk but I’m smart enough to not tell someone that.” George prodded at their side, causing them to squirm a bit. “C’mon Matty, tell me. I won’t go telling your secrets. I barely know you.” Matty looked at George, their vision blurring a bit before they closed their eyes. “I said, I’m going to kill myself tonight.” That statement was not at all what George was expecting, but it wasn’t as surprising as it should have been considering the other things Matty had already told him.

 

“Why?” is all the tall man could bring himself to respond, at a loss for words. This wasn’t a situation he was planning to get himself into tonight, or ever. Matty just laughed, Laughed as it was the funniest thing they had ever heard in their life. While George just stared at them, bewildered. “You want to know why? You don’t want to call the cops because I’m a danger to myself, you don't want to stop me?” They asked, still giggling a bit. Their reaction made George wonder how drunk they really were.

“Why? Why, why, why?” They muttered, waving their arm about lazily. “Because I’m a shitty person, a shitty daughter and a shitty sister. My family bloody hates me. Because I’ll never amount to anything in my life.” So they, no, she was a girl. He guessed that explained the wardrobe choices, though if they were just a bloke who wanted to wear a skirt and some makeup, George wasn’t one to judge. “People like to hurt me.” she said after a moment or two of silence. “I don’t really mind anymore, it makes me feel alive. It’s not like there’s anything they can do that I’ve not already done to myself.”

 

She sat up, her vision promptly going black as she fell against George. “Oh fucks sake.” George groaned, realizing there wasn’t much he could do but take her back to his place. It’s not like he knew any of her friends, or where she lived, and he definitely wasn't leaving her here in the grass.

 

And that’s how George met a girl, who was sweet, soft, and sad as fuck, and how Matty woke up in Georges guest bedroom.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matty wakes up in georges house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO Hi okaY ive been writing this all today and yesterday i hope yall like it i honestly have no idea where this fic is going but im enjoying writing it so much okay ily all byee

“Who’s he?” Ross looked up from his phone as George entered his house, Matty in his arms as he shut the door behind him with his foot. “Her name is Matty, and I’m honestly not too sure. She just started talking to me and then blacked out on the side of the road. Ross raised his eyebrows, “George, that’s a bloke.” he stated, setting his phone down on the ottoman. George rolled his eyes, heading down the hall to the guest bedroom. “She said she’s a girl, also why aren’t you at home with John?” he asked.

 

Ross shrugged, following the taller man. “Thought we could hang out, but you weren’t home so I hung out with Cheese.” George flicked on the hall light, ducking into the guest bedroom for a moment before returning without the drunk girl in his arms. “Is she okay?” Ross asked. George just shrugged. “I wasn't here so you hung out with my cat?” George chuckled. “Well yeah, he’s a better friend than you sometimes.” Ross joked.

 

“Cheese, come here boy, come on kitty.” Ross leaned down and pat the floor, the small white cat running over, already purring just from hearing his name. The cat headbutted Ross’ leg, then the wall, before laying down and batting a paw at Ross. “Why did I adopt a stupid cat? He can’t even walk straight.” George said. Cheese meowed indignantly. “Your fault for giving him a dumb name.” Ross replied.

 

-

 

Matty had absolutely no idea where she was when she woke up, but she knew one thing. There was a kitten lying on her face. She brought her arms up from under the duvet, lifting up the small white cat. He blinked his green eyes and meowed. “Hello you.” she said softly, brushing the kittens cheek with her thumb. “Cheese..” she read the fish shaped tag on the kittens yellow collar. “Who’s given you such a stupid name?” she giggled. 

 

“He’s a stupid cat, so he gets a stupid name.” A deep voice replied from the doorway, she turned her head up to a man she vaguely remembered speaking to last night. “Don't say that about him! He’s a lovely little lad.” she said, setting him down on her stomach, watching the cat curl up in a ball and purr softly as she ran her fingers through his fur.

 

The man, who Matty is pretty sure she never got the name of, walked over to the bed, sitting down next to her. “Are you feeling better?” he asked. Matty closed her eyes, tilting her head back on the pillow and then opened them again, staring at the rays of sunlight streaked across the ceiling. “I feel fine, got a headache though. What’s your name again? I remember nothing from last night.” Cheese stood, gingerly walking up Matty’s stomach and chest, curling into the space between her shoulder and neck.

 

“I’m George, and you said a lot of fucked up things before blacking out on the side of the road.” Matty’s eyes widened a bit when the memories slowly came back to her. “God, I’m sorry. I was an awful mess last night.” Blurry images of showing up at the bar already high, getting wasted, a man groping her, then screaming at her for being a ‘Tranny’, beginning the walk back to her flat and halfway home deciding she was going to the old playground to commit suicide, and meeting this tree of a man on her way there flooded her brain for a moment.

 

“Were you really going to do it?” George’s question snapped her out of her thoughts. “Mmhm.” she simply hummed, lolling her head to the side to look at the man. “I was already drunk as you could tell, had a whole bottle of xannies in my purse.” she furrowed her eyebrows, “I think I brought a pocket knife with me too, in case overdosing didn’t work.”  Her eyes scanned the room for any sign of her purse and she spotted it hanging on the doorknob, wincing a bit at the thought of what was inside. 

 

“Do you need like, Advil, or a shower, or something?” George asked, standing up. Matty sat up, stretching a bit. “Yeah, both. If that’s okay?” George smiled at her, “Of course it is, the bathroom is the room to the left of this one, I’ll grab you some Advil and then I’ll probably be out in the living room or something. Matty smiled back, pushing herself out of bed and following George out the bedroom door. 

 

Once in the bathroom Matty got a good look at herself in the mirror and  _ god  _ she really was a mess. The punch from the night before left a purple and yellow bruise across the side of her face, grabbing a washcloth and wiping her foundation off she realized it was much bigger than she thought, blooming across her whole cheek. “Fuck.” she said aloud to no one. She wet the washcloth, rubbing the rest of her makeup off roughly.

 

Maybe she spent a bit too long staring at her reflection in the mirror, maybe she didn't remember exactly when the tears started falling, but she knew last night had pushed her farther than ever before, scarred her more than anything else. “Stupid.” she said to herself, “Stupid, stupid, you’re stupid Matty! What was I thinking? No one will ever care about me whether I lie about who I am or not.”

 

She shed her clothes, taking one glance in the mirror before wincing, turning the shower on the hottest it could go, and then shutting the light off. Climbing in the hot water she flinched at the temperature before sitting down on the shower floor. She didn't have the motivation to even stand right now, letting the water scald her back as she drifted off into thought.

 

After a while of zoning out on the shower floor she realized the water had gone a bit cold and realized she had probably been in there for nearly half an hour. She shut the water off and climbed out, running her hand along the wall until it hit the towel bar, grabbing one and quickly wrapping it around herself before switching the light back on, squinting at the sudden lighting change for a second.

 

She noticed that now on the bathroom counter was a pair of shorts, a T-shirt, and a paper cup with 2 Advil inside. She picked up the black shorts and figured why not, pulling them on under her towel. She then picked up the shirt, smiling when she realized George had probably dug through his whole wardrobe to find the light pink shirt. She dropped the towel and quickly pulled the over-sized shirt over her head, it was so long it almost covered the shorts completely.

 

Pouring the Advil out into her hand from the cup, she tossed them into her mouth before turning on the faucet, ducking her head under the stream of water to swallow the pills. Turning off the sink, she stood upright and looked in the mirror, turning to her side as a wave of dysphoria came over her. She pulled off the shirt, rummaging around the pile of clothes she had taken off, before grabbing the padded bra she wore, pulling it on and then bringing the shirt back down over her head. She turned to the side and looked in the mirror again. “Better, I guess.” she muttered.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaaaa i hope that was okay im sorry im so awful at writing okay again, comments and kudos and v v v much appreciated <3 <3 <3 <3 <3


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